When walking through change, don’t let the “can't do's” get in the way of the "can do's". Be on the look out for can do's and just do them when they come up.
The name of my first Udemy Course, I am creating is
(drum roll please, LOL):
Divorce Care: Effective Practices To Feel Better
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you say: I love myself but_____________(fill in the blank)
Tap on this with this fill in the blank script.
When going through divorce change feels overwhelming and difficult, especially when faced with big changes. Set some time aside:
When we look at the “big Change” start separating each one into smaller ones, it lowers or releases overwhelm and makes change more doable.
Tapping script on, being in the past. Tap gently on the karate chop point and say out loud 3 times
Even though I was thinking of an unhappy event in my past, I love and accept myself
Tap gently on round & other points while saying out loud:
Top of the head: This past event
Collar bone point: This past event
Under the arm: This past event
Thumb: This past event
Index: This past event
Middle: This past event
Pinkie: This past event
Take a few deep breaths in and out, drink some water and tap on round & other points gently and while saying out loud:
Top of the head: I feel better in the present
Collar bone point: I feel better in the present
Under the arm: I feel better staying in the present
Thumb: I want to be in the present
Index: I choose to be in the present
Middle: I am in the present
Pinkie, repeat this 3 times: I am staying in the present
Take a few deep breaths in and out, drink some water and repeat if needed.
When you catch yourself thinking of an unhappy past event here are some tips to bring yourself out of it:
Look at something around you
You can put these three tips together and use it as a super tool.
Have you ever noticed feeling nervous or fear coming up and you realize your thinking of what ifs for a future event? When we spend time thinking about unpleasant outcomes of a future event, it brings on nervous or fearful feelings. Find ways to bring yourself back to the present. A few ways are:
Focus on your breathing
Connect with one of your senses
Staying present is a great way to dial down fear and nervousness.
It’s coming up on a year of having groceries delivered. At times, I’ve had resistance to use paid resources but it has made life easier when I have. Using services to make life easier, brings more delight and time into life.
Use resources and add some time, energy and delight into your life.
When fear and stress are up, many other enjoyable feelings and experiences fade to the back.
Is your fear and stress up these days? Here’s an easy to read book, to guide you to reduce these:
Reducing Fear & Stress In Difficult Times
Easy Actionable Ways To Unravel Overwhelm, Reduce Fear, Stress And Loneliness, Understand Your Boundaries, And Restore Your Inner Calm by: Katrina L-A Davis
When our fear and stress is lower, happiness, peace, calm and more amazing feelings are more noticeable and grow.
Think of ways to reward yourself for small accomplishments.
One way to do this is a journal brain dump, write anything that comes to mind for up to 5 minutes.
Downloadable Brain Dump Journal Page Included on KD’s Adventure blog.
Do something cathartic (something you do and lose track of time and is relaxing)
Find something cathartic you can do and enjoy the present.
When going through divorce, people can feel disconnected from themselves. It’s a new journey to travel and learn more about who you are at this time in your life. This gives direction and understanding. Take some time to:
When you better understand yourself, moving forward into a new chapter in your life is easier.
Reward yourself today for one small win. Here's some ideas of small wins:
Reward yourself for the small wins, you're worth it!
Here's a way to bring yourself to the present:
Staying or returning to the present by washing dishes by hand.
When you find ways to focus on your senses, it can guide you to the present.
While writing KD’s Adventure Newsletter I was sharing 3 tips and when combined they made an awesome tool.
By combining tips, is one of the ways I create self-help tools.
It might sound strange we grieve when a marriage ends but it’s true. Grieving isn’t just for people who have had someone pass. It can come up with a passing of a person, friendship ending or even selling a home.
Whether you’re the person being served or the person serving their spouse, it’s a grieving process. The one just served is going to start grieving when they hear about it and the person serving has already started the process and at times are much further along. Here are the 7 stages
As you’re going through divorce don’t be surprised to see these stages show up.
Stages of grief listed are from: The Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle on, changingminds.org
In the midst of difficult times, it’s helpful to have easy actionable ways to address issues step-by-step. How to reduce unpleasant feelings, plan ahead for stress and self-care, understand your boundaries and say yes and no with more confidence. Each chapter walks through ways to address these and more issues. Through these time proven ways, you can restore your inner calm when you need it the most. Reducing Fear & Stress In Difficult Times link
This isn't an affiliate link.
When something is bothering us, we need to speak our truth or it can dial up resistance or resentment. When we speak our truth it’s important to speak it kindly. Some mindful tips for this are:
Tone of voice
Speaking from the heart (leave the ego out of it)
When we speak our truth kindly, we are letting the other person know how we feel in a kind way. This can assist with keeping the peace while speaking our truth and keep resistance & resentment dialed down.
Have you ever had one of those days where things happen and it feels like life is hard? I understand this and been there too. What if you could shift your focus or let these go, so you can go on with your day in a good way? Some ways to reduce these feelings are:
Often shifting your perspective or tapping can reduce these feelings and go on with your day, in a great way.
Be Kind To Yourself Today:
It’s okay to be kind to yourself.
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